Three Keys and 50 Fun Things for the Days Ahead

How are you doing now that you are staying home? I've found each person I've talked to having their own unique experience. You may find yourself noting noting one or more of these:

• Finding the time long or anxiety-filled.
• Finding days busier than ever because of what you are juggling.
• Finding it an opportunity to dive into some projects.
• Finding it a chance for some much-needed rest.
• Finding yourself with periods of grief or sadness.

This is such an incredible time of change for us, accompanied by plenty of worry and uncertainty and grief. We each get to process that in our own way and I hope you will be gentle with yourself as you process your own presence.

As I thought about my own plan for this time of being thrust into a new life pace, I realize how, in addition to just staying well, adjusting to this time shares some elements with what I know about adjusting to retirement...but maybe with less elation and more anxiety. They both involve a profound break from what has been our routine and the search for a new daily reality.

When talking about healthy patterns in retirement, I often use a model I refer to as 'The Three Keys'. The research has shown that each of these three keys has incredible health benefits for us. I decided I would offer these up to you during this unusual time to ponder and start to organize your thoughts to  build a gameplan for your days ahead. I've also shared some questions that you can think about with each key as you do your planning.

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FIRST KEY--STRUCTURE:
Structure forms a frame from which we can live our life. With all our disruption right now, many of us are building a new frame. How are you introducing some routine into these days that are anything but? Having structure will keep you grounded when everything around you is changing. It also helps your biorhythms settle in to help all your systems function better and is a springboard for creativity.

How can you be intentional about forming a daily routine for yourself? And how can you do it in a way that gives you space to be with this experience and the days that may include lack of productivity, fatigue, and sadness?

Here are some simple questions to get you started:

• What time do you want to rise in the morning? What do you want to make your first activity of the day? How can you be kind to yourself?
  
• When do you want to eat your biggest meal? How can you simplify your food?
• In what part of the day will you exercise?
• Where do you put in play time? What does that look like now?
• When is quiet time for you?
  
• If you are working from home, how do you set good boundaries around your work time and home time? When are you 'done for the day'?
• What's your routine as you are getting ready for bed? What can you do to have a better night's sleep (like shutting off the news)?
• Any extra self-care you want to schedule?
  

This time is impacting all of us differently. It is perfectly normal to be feeling some disorientation, or weariness, or inability to focus. Go easy on yourself. If you need to break this down into simple pieces, simply focus on holding some routine in your days, one step at a time. You don't need one more long list of things you 'should' do. As time goes on, the other two keys will feel more important so you can dip into them as you are ready.

The trick to structure is not to engrave it in stone. There has to be a little wiggle room for spontaneity, just not a wide-gaping hole of chaos or emptiness every day.

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SECOND KEY--CONNECTION:
How are you reaching out in the world? Connection gives us the opportunity to feel like we are part of something greater. Connection is going to be crucial as we spend more time at home these next weeks. For those of us who live alone during this time, this has to be even more intentional. For those who live with others, keeping this extended time together with others light, kind and respectful may be the order of the day.

• If you are sheltered with others during this time, how much time will you spend together?
• When do you get some alone time? How do you get your alone time?
• How can you deepen your relationships during this time, whether with someone you are sheltered with or reaching out to others you are not with?
  
• In what new ways can you reach out to your friends or family you are not living with? It can be the smallest of kindnesses.
  
• If you are sheltered alone, how often do you need to reach out to other people to stay happy? That may differ for extroverts and introverts.
• Who do you have in your life that you feel connected to? What are you doing to both maintain those relationships as well as build new ones while sheltered alone?

We’re seeing virtual happy hours, fashion shows, yoga hours, exercise classes, bingo, concerts, and dance parties spring up online. What clever ideas can you come up with to stay connected with others?

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3RD KEY--MEANING:
Meaning connects with a deeper part down inside of us that tickles our sense of presence, purpose and significance. It is not the part of you that is built from shoulds, but the part that is deeply captivated and satisfied by a certain activity. It may involve doing something of purpose out in the world, which is much needed, but that doesn't always scratch that place of meaning. It could also be something that you do with and for yourself such as art or reading or music or writing. What is important is that it is something that connects with that deeper part of you and lights you up, makes you lose track of time, connects with your gifts, and enthralls you.

• What are you doing in your new routine that puts meaning in your days?
• What are you curious about?
• What do you think about doing, but also feel a little frightened to try?
• What do you do that afterward you realize you have lost all track of time?
• What do you do that makes you think bigger thoughts and dream bigger dreams?
• How does this time create new needs for meaning in you? How does it create different places to connect with it?

It is all too easy to get caught up in watching and responding to the latest developments in the media. Doing something that satisfies your curiosity or captivates your imagination or furthers how you want to live life aligned with your values helps anchor you. It provides a way to be grounded when so much around you is changing. And if life is moving all too slowly for you, having an activity to build some meaning into your days is one of the best remedies.

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Keep these three keys in mind as you shape this time ahead. Most certainly, pay attention to maintaining your physical health. We also need to focus on getting through and emerging from this time emotionally and mentally healthy. With attention to these three keys, you give attention to the latter, with benefits for the former!

50 FUN THINGS!
Now a bonus for you! Last week, I attended an online session done by Teresa Thomas. Teresa is one of the most gifted networkers and facilitators I’ve encountered. She does live events called 50 Fun Things (www.50funthings.com) which are creative and inspiring. The particular session I attended was done online and was entitled "50 Fun Things to Do While Cooped Up". Over the course of a half hour, everyone who tuned in offered up ideas of fun things to do to pass the time on these days. We came up with a list of 108 ideas. You can source it by clicking here...50 Fun Things While Cooped Up

Teresa will be doing other fun online versions in the next days if you would like to join. To do so, join her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/50funthings or follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/50funthings/

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Most importantly, I hope you are focused on keeping yourself grounded and whole. I wish you not only to be well, but enriched, during this unusual time in our lives. I hope there can be a bright side in it for you. I am available and happy to do 30-minute or 60-minute online sessions if you are feeling out of sync and want help coming up with a gameplan for these days ahead, for your life in general, for your retirement, or if you just plain need to break up cabin fever! You can contact me at ruth@ruthtongen.com
 
Be well and be at peace.

Are you wanting greater meaning in life than simply filling your calendar? Do you want to navigate a transition in your life or move into retirement with intention? I can help you with meaningful ways to take stock, plan and live either retirement or a next great chapter with more happiness and health. Our work will help you find an 'aha', move it to an aspiration, get out of being stuck, and then put it into action to live your life in a way that matters for you.

E-mail me: ruth@ruthtongen.com to get started now on building your next chapter.