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  Ideas for a great retirement

Five Easy Tips for a Better Life in Retirement: Just For the Health of It

11/30/2017

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Wondering how our health will hold up is one of the topics that often gets more attention as we near and move through retirement. It's a major determinant of quality of life at all stages but in retirement, it gains momentum.

Like it or not, our bodies often begin to feel the effects of some wear and tear, especially if we haven't been actively taking care of ourselves earlier in life. There are some unique health concerns to be aware of as we transition to and live in retirement, but with the right approach, you can have a better outcome.

Retirement Transition
Retirement is considered 10th on the list of 43 greatest life stressors on the Life Change Index Scale. It brings change in routine, social circles, self-perception and for many, worries about finances. Cut yourself some slack as you move through this time.

The risk of heart attack and stroke is 40% higher in people who are retired compared to those who are still working in the same age group, according to the Health and Retirement Study as cited by Patrick Skerrett in this Harvard Health Blog. The risk is highest right after retirement and then levels out a bit after the first year.

"Wait!" you might be saying, "I've been waiting to retire for years and it's supposed to be the time when I get to do everything I've wanted.  I don't want to hear that there are health risks with it. It's like reminding me of all the calories in my Thanksgiving dinner."

Hold on. There are plenty of easy things you can do to stay healthy. I want to share five simple health ideas that I find pretty universal for you to crack open.

1. Your Routine
For those of you anticipating retirement, it's important to note that no matter how stressful or busy your work has been, your body has grown accustomed to that routine.  It has been busy holding you together perfectly to allow you to do what you do. While your body may eventually be happy with the lighter load in retirement, it's quite a shock all at once. Whatever you can do to smoothly transition, the easier the adjustment for your dear, sweet body.

If you already have a health routine, hang with it. Don't hurry and change things up when so much else is changing. Don't stop it because you are going to retire and you want no responsibilities for a while.

If you don’t currently have a health routine and plan to start, think about what you want to begin begin moving in that direction before you retire. If that doesn't seem feasible, hang onto your current routine for a time after you are done working and ease into something new vs. beginning to train for a marathon three days after retirement or packing up and being on the road to a change of address within 48 hours (yes, I've seen both).

Practice self-compassion for all the adjustments that your body and mind and spirit are going through. My hope is that they are all gleeful, but even positive change is stressful for your system.

you are what you listen to
2. Listening to Yourself
You will be or are building your retirement lifestyle. Incorporate listening to yourself and your emotions. Build some quiet into each day to just check in with yourself. That may take the form of prayer or meditation or simply quiet. Pay attention to what is coming to the surface about what you really want now that you may not have been able to see before.

I have a client who recently retired and has committed to taking six months to listen to her leadings before getting involved in new activities. She knows she can quickly dive into helping on all sorts of fronts. Taking that time to be intentional and take stock of what's true now is a really healthful choice. It would be easy to get pulled into helping with everyone's agenda but your own.

3. Listening to Your Body
Listen to the subtle signs your body is giving you. We live in a culture that congratulates us for powering through our pain and illnesses. While I'm not recommending a full-on plunge into hypochondria, you can improve your health outcomes by being able to tune in and pay attention to where you have little pains or discomfort or even uneasiness before it becomes something else.

For example, a muscle knot in your thigh may actually be a sign of a knee joint that isn't articulating correctly or a ligament that is inflamed. Tending to it earlier rather than later may prevent subsequent damage from walking inappropriately, surgical intervention and/or back and hip problems. If you don't have a provider who will listen to or explore things on that early functional level, seek out another.

Listening well includes taking in whether you are eating enough (yes, I said enough) to power your body, eating the right types of foods that make you feel good, getting enough rest, and whether your exercise routine makes you feel great or depletes you.


When you do take the time to listen, don't forget to thank your body for the amazing things it does. Spend a few moments just knowing and appreciating that things are okay, right now in this moment. I'm a big fan of doing the body scan which is a 30-45 practice as part of the well-researched Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. You can find a mini-version of this practice here. There's a link on that page to a longer version, as well.

Yin Yang
4. Balance
As you are planning your activities, incorporate balance. If you are an introvert, you may tend toward filling your time with solitary activities and gravitate less to planning time with others. If you are an extrovert, you may fill your life by being out and about with people but not build in any quiet reflective time. You will have a much healthier (and interesting) path if you are intentional about balancing that out.

If you are immersing yourself in creating something new, plan some time here and there where you are destroying or disposing of some things (I learned that a long while back in a writing class). If you like rapid, active activities (water skiing, running, competitive kickboxing, etc.), incorporate some quiet, smooth activity (yoga, mindfulness walking, meandering in a kayak) and vice versa.

You can apply this idea of balance to any area of your life. We are both yin and yang creatures and we need some of each to keep functioning well as we go forward. Think of the opposite of what you easily move toward as a tonic for yourself.


5. The Power of Purpose
The final piece I will mention in this writing is the power of purpose. Boyle, Buchman, et al found that having a sense of purpose decreased the risk of Alzheimer's by nearly 60%....yes, nearly 2/3!

What are you planning and doing that will grab you, pull you out of bed each day, and capture your imagination and your gifts? If you don't know, there are people who will help you explore (including me) and discover what that is for you. In the meantime, pay attention to what you are curious about and let that pull you in. There's a fabulous world out there. You are still part of a community and have so much to offer.

In future blogs, I will write in more depth about some of these practices and explore several  others. This is true retirement planning!  If you don't have your health, you can't do much in retirement; and if you don't do much in retirement, you may not have your health.
There's More to Life.
I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment below. Part of my vision is to help create community around living a great retirement. In what ways would connecting with other people approaching or living retirement be helpful for you?

Ruth Tongen helps you take stock, plan and live retirement in a bigger, happier, healthier way. She can help you find an 'aha' and move that to an aspiration and then on to an action. Move past sticking points and begin living on purpose.
E-mail her: ruth@ruthtongen.com with questions or to explore how she can help you live a great next chapter.


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Shaping Retirement: Passion and Curiosity

11/21/2017

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Every day of your life is valuable and deserving of the things you are drawn to or feel gifted to bring to your community. How will you shape this stage of life?

Paths to Reinventing Retirement
The people I see who want to plan or reinvent their retirement come from at least one of these five main paths. Which of these do you relate to?
  • Some people have always been planners and they want to get their retirement objectives planned out in the same way.
  • For some, work has been so central to their time and identity and social life, that retirement creates an upheaval.
  • For others, retirement began differently than planned, through the sudden end of a job, a health change, or other unforeseen events.
  • Yet others had a retirement that was going along just fine and suddenly took a sharp left as their circumstances changed or because they woke up one day suddenly overcome with the desire to do something deeper or different.
  • And finally, some folks simply want help to improve their health or live in a healthier manner.
Discerning What's Next
People in each of the groups above have goals that need to be addressed in a unique way. But there is one focus common to all: the desire to discern what they want life to look like going forward. Most want meaning and purpose. Their means to how that unfolds takes shape in one of three ways:
Passion Led Us Here
  1. Some people have one or a list of passions they care deeply about and want to do in their third chapter. Their work at hand is to prioritize their time, what they want and develop guideposts to assure they are choosing in alignment with their passions and priorities. There is an intensity to how they plan and live. They harness their passion and let it make every day count.
  2. Others feel like they should have a passion but haven't had time to name or cultivate it yet because they were busy working. It either wasn't central to their work, or the passions they had in their work life won't or didn't transfer to retirement. Exploring, identifying and then narrowing in on building around their passions is their focus. They want to move forward with impact and effectiveness with a central focus--once they are clear on what that is.
  3. There is another group with a different tack. I have a friend who described it well. He is beginning to ponder retirement. He has decided that for him it isn't about finding that thing he is passionate about and pursuing it (though I would argue he is pursuing his passion for family, beauty in nature, creature comforts and people-watching). Rather, it is for him greeting each day with an active sense of curiosity and letting that shape his days. And that marks the third group of people--letting the journey reinvent itself each day. In our culture, we don't often hold up this approach as a viable option, yet it is where many of us find ourselves, especially at retirement.

Up Through Trees
Curiosity
Shortly after that conversation, I saw a video of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, entitled "The Flight of the Hummingbird: The Curiosity-Driven Life". After traveling around and talking to audiences about finding 'that one driving passion' to guide their lives, she came to realize that only some people are driven by a consuming passion. Just as important and vital to the world are those who bring curiosity to the world, which acts as a cross-pollinator for ideas.

Looking back over my life (and looking forward), curiosity is woven throughout. I’ve thought about, learned about, and done a wide array of activities. I once had a manager whom I suspect wasn’t fond of corralling  someone with my creativity or curiosity. Shaking her head, she told me that when I die my epitaph will be, “She thought about doing a lot of things”. She was right, I have thought about doing a lot of things and I have done many of them. At the time, I didn't feel great about hearing that. At this stage of my life, I love the life of curiosity I’ve led. And through my curiosity, I would also put myself in the passion-filled group. The ability to be curious is my passion.


Shaping Your Retirement
How will you and do you approach retirement? Do you have a burning passion that shapes your days? Do you know there is something there, but aren't sure what it is yet? Or are you committed to "letting your nose lead you" each day?

What's important is that it is right for you. If you love to be curious, don't beat yourself up trying to find a hobby or passion to do consistently. If you have a passion that drives you, find ways to prioritize your time and go headlong into it. If you're not sure what your passion is or even whether you have something you will land on, maybe curiosity is a great place to discover it.

Open yourself to the idea that curiosity and passion may feed each other. How can curiosity further deepen what you do with your passions? How can you be passionate about following your curiosity? I love that both can travel with us in some manner, no matter what our age or ability.

Questions for reflection and conversation:
  • What, if anything, is a passion for you?
  • How are you pursuing that passion? What is keeping you from it? What are you doing to remove those obstacles?
  • Is there a way you are using your passion in community? Could they benefit from it in some way?
  • What are you doing to assure that you have access to new ideas and experiences?
  • How are you approaching your days to allow time for curiosity?
  • How do you celebrate the new things you have learned or observed each day?
  • How can you contribute to your community from a place of curiosity? What new ideas can you bring them?

There's More to Life.
I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment below. Part of my vision is to help create community around living a great retirement. In what ways would connecting with other people approaching or living retirement be helpful for you?

Ruth Tongen helps people take stock, plan and live retirement in a bigger, happier, healthier way. She helps people move past sticking points and begin living on purpose.
E-mail her: ruth@ruthtongen.com with questions or to explore how she can help you move into the next chapter.

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