Depth Finders

The Last Two Years
Nearly two years ago, I remember someone telling me about a virus coming that was going to be serious. I waited and watched for a few weeks, and then one by one, all of my speaking engagements around the country were soon closed down. I also closed my clinic for a month. I remember having the thought then, "This will settle down in a month or two." (I could put a laughing emoji here...)

As it progressed, I saw how much time people were spending at home. I began to think that for folks closing in on retirement, this was a great opportunity to 'try on' some pieces of the retirement lifestyle, which folks don't often get to do. After some time, I was sure people were now getting clearer and more comfortable with their plan for a next chapter in life. I began thinking the call for retirement coaching would vanish. I was just plain wrong.

Hungry for a Reset
This past fall, my phone started ringing. While many people have found their way into a new routine , a number of folks also came to the realization that they want to plan for more than simply not working and having more leisure time. A number of factors have been at play in influencing this:

• Travel hasn’t been as accessible.
  
• Volunteering opportunities look different than they did.
• Getting together with family and friends hasn’t been as simple as it was.
• Some people have begun to focus on taking care of their health more.
• Many have realized they don't want to take their life and their time for granted.
• And finally, and maybe most importantly, folks have found a need to look a little deeper inside to build days that are more meaningful as there has been less ‘out there’ to distract us.

I have encountered more people wanting to rethink their next chapter in life. I suspect that at the same time we are seeing the great resignation for people looking for a life and work that fits them better, I think we are also seeing people quest for some depth and a more meaningful retirement phase of life, as well.

The Deeper Aim
I base my work with clients on building a foundation of structure, connection and meaning into retirement. While I am hearing about needing more of all three from clients, the frequency that I hear about wanting more purpose or meaning has really enlarged. Structure and connection are important building blocks to enable the pursuit of meaning.)

Once we get past the surface, I hear clients saying:

• I need to be clear about why I am on the planet.
• I want to know my days matter.
• I want to use my gifts.
• I want to know I make a difference for someone else.

And finally, one added dimension a lot of folks (myself included) have gotten to in these last two years is a renewed appreciation for simplicity. I don't hear people wanting to cram their days full of activity or have to think about more complex matters.There's plenty of that around us. If you are currently building a plan for your retirement, the desire for simplicity may be another dimension to try on.

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Questions for Your Own Reset
When I begin working with clients, each has goals, a timeline, and an agenda unique to them. I nearly always begin by using a set of exercises that focus on helping bridge the past with the future. With that bridge, each person can work on their specific path that emerges.

If you are at the stage of thinking through your next chapter and wanting to incorporate some depth, here are some questions for you to consider:

• In what ways will your past serve as a guide for your future?
• What have you done or currently do where you lose all track of time because you are engrossed? This includes parts of your work, as well.
• When an activity lights you up, why is that? What is it feeding in you? Sometimes asking why four more times helps get to greater clarity.
• What do you know you don't want to do any more of? Why?
• What is it you've been waiting to have time to do? What are you now free to do?
• What do you value most?
• What are you curious about? I have clients keep a list and add to it, even if an item they're curious about doesn't seem at all workable right now. It's a little different than a bucket list.
• How can all these pieces be incorporated in new ways in retirement?

Take Your Time
If you find yourself yearning for more of a plan or something a little bit deeper, take some time and play with the above questions. Don't make that a one-day activity--take some days and weeks to sit with them. As you go about your days, ask yourself what part of you an interest or activity may quell--intellectual, physical, emotional, social, spiritual or some combination. Let the questions weave through your activities and conversations in the next weeks.

When some themes and ideas begin to emerge, start searching for resources where you can search out your interests and places to incorporate them in new ways in your life. That may involve classes, finding people you can interview or be in conversation with (who do you know that fascinates you?), websites that organize volunteer opportunities, or simply an internet search. Just getting clearer about what you want to focus on, you may be surprised what you stumble across or what just shows up.

I'm Happy to Help
If you want help to search, evaluate, or even someone to hold you accountable as you incorporate a plan for your life, consider working with a coach. I'd love to work with you or even do a fun workshop for you and your friends. If you have a hunger, know that there's more to life!

Are you in the midst of a transition and want to stay healthy? I can help you with meaningful ways to take stock, plan and live a next great chapter with more happiness and wellbeing. Our work together can help you move from feeling stuck to finding your 'aha' and then putting it into action so you can live your life in a way that matters for you.

E-mail me: ruth@ruthtongen.com to get started now on building your next chapter.