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  Ideas for a great retirement

Taking a Fresh Look (Part 2)

1/27/2020

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In Part 1 of this blog, I challenged you to stop and take a broader look at your life and your WDYWFY (What Do You Want For Yourself). I encouraged you to begin that process by taking a look at what matters most to you by identifying your top values. That process is important, not only to identify your top values, but also through realizing what isn’t in the top five. Sometimes we are spending a whole lot of time and energy on things that we later realize aren’t that important. If you’ve not had time to do that yet, here is the link where you can do that: https://www.think2perform.com/our-approach/values 
Building from your values-based framework, reflect a bit and write goals for this year or this first or next part of your retirement. What do you want to have happen? I know, it’s almost February and that may feel a little like New Year’s stuff. Creating and getting clear about your goals is an important step to make your ideal life your real life! It gives your brain something to organize activity behind. Even if you can only come up with one goal you want to make happen for your life this year, go with it. I’m all for simple.
The Acid Test for Your Goals
You have likely learned about writing goals using the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Action-Oriented, Realistic/Relevant and Time-based) acronym. I encourage that, and let’s simplify that even further for use here by using an idea that I am borrowing from Doug Lennick, the CEO of think2perform:

When you think about turning your wants into goals, Doug advises applying this acid test to each goal:
  • Can I afford myself this?  (Do I have the capacity/ability to accomplish it?)
  • Will I afford myself this? (Am I willing to do what it takes to accomplish it?)
If you can’t answer yes to both of those questions, you don’t have a useful or realistic goal.
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Signs Along the Way
When I work with people on building what’s next, once their goals are set, I also ask them to put ‘markers’ alongside their goals. What fun things will you notice or encounter that will be evidence of moving in the direction of your goals? This is not a measurement, such as, “When I step on the scale, I will weigh 14 pounds less”. A marker happens out in the world as a result of your intention and effort, but isn’t the end goal. For example, “Someone will compliment me on how much healthier I look.” or “I will be asked to lead a retreat.”


I think of pairing markers with goals as push vs. pull.  When we set a goal and work toward it, we are using effort and determination to push toward it. Markers are something we envision happening out in the future and simply show up along the way to provide evidence we’re heading in the right direction and are in alignment. They pull us forward. I think it is as important to envision out to the future and watch for those signals showing up as it is to do the work each day to make your goals happen.
Questions for You
As you arrive at your goals and markers for your year or your retirement, here are some questions to ponder:
  1. Are you feeling clear about at least one goal for this next year? In what ways will accomplishing that improve your life?
  2. With the goal(s) you have written (remember that writing it down increases the likelihood of making it happen), look at how they align with your top values. Is there anything there that doesn’t align? If so, how might your goal(s) change to better reflect what you have determined matters most to you? There's no sense in prioritizing doing something that doesn't deeply matter to you.
  3. Was it easy to come up with some fun markers for yourself? What do you envision happening around you as you move in the direction of your goals? Spend some time picturing what that will look like. Thoughts become things.
Enjoy the gift of this year ahead of you. Taking time to think about what you want for yourself and what matters most to you, how you live in alignment, and what it will look like when you move in that new direction will help help you make meaningful use of this year in your life and in your retirement. That is my hope for you in your 2020.
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Are you wanting greater meaning in life than just simply filling your calendar? Ruth Tongen helps people navigate the end of their careers, take stock, plan and live retirement or a next great chapter in a happier, healthier way. Find an 'aha', move it to an aspiration, get out of being stuck, and then put it into action. Live your life in a way that matters.

E-mail me: ruth@ruthtongen.com to get started now on building your next chapter.
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Gratitude and Your Healthier Life

11/24/2019

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I’ve been learning more about the health and life benefits of gratitude. We are now entering the holiday season so it seems doubly on topic. I was gifted with a mother who learned to find gratitude in all situations later in her life. I’ve often thought back to that time and how I might incorporate more gratitude into my life.
While gratitude is a needed quality for our lives at any stage, it becomes something we can more readily access as we approach and live in retirement. As we age, it turns out that our ability to feel grateful goes up. The amygdala, in our limbic system, becomes less reactive to negative information and increases our ability to react to positive information. Being able to focus in on the positive helps us more readily notice what we are grateful for. And that will bring us all sorts of benefits as we age.
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What are the benefits? Here are several of the ways that cultivating gratitude in our lives has been shown in several studies to better our wellbeing:
  • The practice of gratitude increases amount of sleep and quality of sleep. People who write down what they are grateful for before bedtime actually sleep better.
  • Gratitude increases our self-esteem, which supports mental wellbeing and peak performance. 
  • It softens the impact of social comparison, something that is so common  today with social media and even in our political climate.
  • Gratitude helps us build relationships more easily. Showing your appreciation, big or small, to another person opens them to you and creates the desire to have conversation.
  • Gratitude improves our physical health. We will have fewer aches and pains.
  • Gratitude lowers blood pressure, helps us build higher good cholesterol and lower bad cholesterol.
  • People using gratitude in their lives tend to exercise more often.
  • There is some evidence that the practice of gratitude may add as much as 10 years of longevity!
  • Gratitude reduces anxiety and depression, and also toxic emotions like envy and regret and resentment.
  • It helps us overcome trauma and lower the rate of post-traumatic stress disorder.
  • Practicing gratitude increases our level of life satisfaction.
  • And gratitude helps us develop more resilience in adversity.

Pretty impressive, right? Would you like to add more of the benefits of gratitude to your life?
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Here are a few easy ways to integrate it into your life:
  1. If you like to write, make a running list of all the things you are grateful for and write about why you are grateful.
  2. Jot a thank you note to someone you appreciate regularly. Some people do this daily!
  3. End your day by coming up with three things you are grateful for in your day.
  4. Take a couple deep breaths and be in the moment when you are doing the things you enjoy and are with people you care about to fully appreciate them.
  5. Incorporate gratitude into your prayer and meditation time.
  6. Focus in on the parts of your life you enjoy the most, whether that is hobbies or exercise or volunteering. Make sure to go there in your mind when in the midst of stressful situations.

What a fun and happy way to improve your health, your life and your longevity! What do you have to be grateful for today?
Sources:
  1. Coxwell, Kathleen. Be Thankful as You Near Retirement--It Improves Health and Happiness. Forbes.com, November 9, 2016.
  2. Harvard Health Publishing. Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
  3. Morin, Amy. 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round. Forbes.com, Nov 23, 2014
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